I make this Sunday as my official day off from work, sabagay un naman talaga ang nakalagay sa sched ko sa lab. I make use of Sunday kasi for my review, konting sacrifice for some achievements I wanted to have. Kaso hindi na ata kinaya ng katawan ko for a week na halos konti lang ang tinutulog ko, I’ve been coming home late and going to work so early, kaya un nagpahinga muna ako this day.
This past few weeks or for the past month I have a wonderful time going out with someone, someone who ive known for quite time now, to calculate it maybe it will be four years ago since we’ve know each other. Since the first time he seen me in one social network, he already told me how he feels for me, me back then was a young girl who starting to explore the outside world, world outside the walls of school and our home, the time I was searching for what profession im truly into.
2007 or 2008 when I started to have my own email account and open a account in one of the most popular social network back then, that was the time till one guy seen me and try to follow me iin that site. I am curious then when I see his account always seeing my account every now and then. So I am the first one to made the first move to ask him, why he always opening my page. Then he told that he knew one of my classmates in college, who happen to be my group mate in our research making. So that was the beginning of everything, he ask my number and email for us to communicate.
When we starting to communicate every now and then, I started to like him, we are enjoying each other company, no dull moments we are talking thru email or exchanging text messages thru phone, not the time I knew what life he is into, that he is already married, but going into annulment, had a child on one of his girlfriend but he decided to go out of relationship with the girl for some reasons, then having a relationship with a girl that time. So being so young that time I stop myself from falling into him, from getting into a relationship with him. So I stop communicating with him from that time. Not knowing or noticing that he didn’t stop communicating with me all this years, there come a time that I just talking to him like a friend like a guy peer, I started sharing things like when I had a boyfriend in Saudi, being broken hearted that time, he was one of the person who become my shock absorber..lolz* for my two years of staying in Saudi and maybe a year staying here in Philippines he didn’t change the way he was treating me, communicating to me. Until a day we decided to meet personally. Then that meet up gone to a relationship that I didn’t know when it started.
Magtatagalog na ako…mahirap i-explain sa English how I really feels right now… hindi ko alam what happen sa aming dalawa for that years, I know it is not right to have a relationship with him, I will tell at first sinabi ko sa sarili ko subukan ko lang aalis naman sya and maybe when he live the country mawawala na din ung feelings nya sa akin, but as time passes by that we are always together, lumalalim ung feelings ko sa kanya, nagiging routine ko na ang tingnan ang phone ko hoping for a text message that will come to him, expecting a call from him every now and then, and spending time with him more often than I expected to happen.
Sa ngaun wala naman siguro akong pagsisisihan na ginawa ko, kasi kahit alam kong mali ung pinasok kong relasyon mas lamang ung feeling ko na ako ung pipiliin nya bandang huli, and when that times comes, magiging tama na ung maling relasyong pinasok ko, magiging lubos na ung happiness naming dalawa.
In the relationship I’ve been through for all this years,, natuto na akong maging manhid kung minsan,, minsan na akong natakot pumasok ulit sa isang relasyon, minsang natrauma of having a guy beside me, minsang pinigilan ko ang sarili kong ibigay lahat ng kasweetan ko sa lalaking mahal ko. Pero despite of that, lahat ng yan na nanakit sa akin, makes me a strong person, natutong makipaglaban sa buhay, nakilala ng husto ang sarili ko, natutong pahalagahan ung sarili over everyone else, it makes me to be a good person, and more god fearing daughter to god. Kasi hindi ko naman malalagpasan lahat kung hindi dahil sa kanya….and now god im entering a relationship again, make me more wise and give me signs if kung sya na talaga ang ibibigay mo sa akin na makakasama ko in my entire life make me and him always there for one another, let the relationship keep going and give us both more strength that we know we will be needing to pass all the obstacle our relationship is facing lord, sa madaling sabi panginoon ikaw na ang gumabay at pumatnubay sa relasyon naming dalawa, sana sa dulo kami pa ding dalawa….
